Cleaning Fetish
by FreekyDisaster18
Summary: Stuart learns one of his partner's kinks and wants to excite him. Slash. S/E.
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHORS NOTE: There is a funny story underlying why I have written this cleaner story. We're at war with the cleaner of Flat C *glares* and we were talking about it while doing poster work in Science and I magically wrote the sentence "MELTING: When you use heat to turn a solid into a cleaner". Oh yeah, the teacher read this out in front of the whole class. How bloody cool am I?!**

**DISCLAIMER: I only own the OC's.**

*******

**Cleaning Fetish**

*******

"You're kidding right?"

Stuart had long since learnt that Ewan had a cleaning obsession. He hated anything being a mess. Everything had to be a perfect order. Stuart could still remember that time he had taken Ewan home to his flat and there had been a picture of Stuart, Robbie and Jackie on the wall squint and Ewan obviously hadn't wanted to move it because he thought he'd be rude but eventually he burst out asking Stuart if he could fix it. Stuart had simply laughed but granted the permission.

Since buying a house together, Stuart had learnt that Ewan had a direct way of doing everything. The socks were organised by colour and thickness. Shirts were organised from work to casual with the middle which was shirts that could be worn as both. There was one of those shoe pockets you find at bowling alleys and children centres which Ewan used for rolling up ties that also descended in colour. Stuart found it cute and he knew that he was going to give Ewan a treat tonight.

"No!" Ewan protested as he rolled over in their bed, sitting up so that he could move to the ensuite bathroom. "I would like to point out that you asked me what my biggest kink was and I answered."

"I know but seriously, the idea of me wearing a pair of marigolds and cleaning is a little..." he didn't even know what to say as he envisaged the image in his head. "Okay so it's kind of kinky for you but I swear this is you subconsciously turning me into your little manservant."

"Trust me, I don't even trust you with my cleaning!" Ewan said as he moved back into the bedroom, moving back under the sheets and cuddling up against the man and smiled. "I'd probably end up following you around making sure that you'd done everything correctly." He teased before taking hold of his lovers lips in a kiss. Stuart had been about to sarcastically respond to the last sentence but he was distracted by the kiss and decided just to take his stress out on his partner that way.

"I still can't believe you get turned on by cleaning." He shook his head. "At least I know not to hire a cleaner." Ewan burst out into fits of laughter as he nuzzled into his partner's neck, his lips and teeth sucking at the flesh that greeted him there.

"It wouldn't have the same effect because it wasn't you." He whispered in response, blowing against the damp skin and smiled as his partner shuddered. "We really should sleep. You have work in the morning." Stuart wanted to complain but instead he just settled his head on his partner's chest and it wasn't long until he was asleep.

*******

**AUTHORS NOTE: I know it's a small teasing first chapter but I was going to make it a one shot but thought that it would work great as a chapterfic :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHORS NOTE: So we're still at war with the cleaner and I'm still in love with this story even though I've been kind of neglecting all my stories recently. I really am bipolar when it comes to updating. Go me!**

**DISCLAIMER: The characters belong to the amazing mind of Glenn chandler!**

*******

**[Asking for Advice]**

*******

"You're miles away, Stuart." Robbie commented that next day as he reached over and stabbed Stuart with his fork. Stuart reacted by grabbing hold of the fork and yanking it out of Robbie's hand.

"Now boys, play nicely." Jackie soothed easing the fork out of Stuart's hand passing it back to Robbie but not before slapping him on the shoulder for annoying Stuart when it was obvious there was something on their friend's mind. "Is everything okay?"

"I'm just confused."

"What are you confused about?" This was one thing about Stuart that Robbie had already hated. When it came to finding out information from him, he always played such cryptic games. Robbie would bet money on it being easier to draw blood from a stone than it would information from Stuart. Stuart could probably be a secret criminal and they'd never know the difference.

"I asked Ewan what his kink was."

"Oh God it's not S and M is it?" Robbie asked thinking that the idea of Stuart doing that kind of sex was scary. He saw Stuart as the shy sex type and if he found out that he liked to whip his partner and tell him that he was a naughty boy, Robbie knew that his imagination would be scarred for life.

"No but locking you in a dungeon seems to tempting right now."

"Why, Stuart, I'm thrilled but I don't... Owch!" He cried as two feet kicked at his legs aggressively. He leant down to rub the shin knowing that there were going to be two beautiful bruises there tomorrow. He sighed before sitting back up. "You two are getting too good at being in unison." He pointed out.

"What's his kink?"

"I can't tell you what his kink was."

"I'll tell you Jackie's." Robbie negotiated and Stuart looked over at him, his eyebrows raised.

"I already know Jackie's." He pointed out flatly and Robbie just stared at Stuart speechlessly for a few moments before turning to look at Jackie. The look on her face made it very obvious that Stuart actually did know what the kink was while Robbie had just been bluffing.

"You'll let Stuart know!"

"Stuart's my gay best friend!" Gay was emphasised in her sentence and Robbie's jaw dropped.

"I swear that's..." He pondered for a moment and shrugged. "Straightest! You'll tell a gay guy your inner secrets and your reason not to tell me is because I'm straight? I think I need to have you arrested for that behaviour." He pointed out and was happy to see that Stuart no longer looked so miserable. "Okay so when you tell me Ewan's kink, you can tell me Jackie's too."

"Robbie, you're not finding out my kink from Stuart."

"Is that an invitation for you to show me?" She rolled her eyes before turning back to Stuart as if expecting him to save the conversation. Robbie just grinned before turning to look at Robbie. He loved winding Jack up. It made his world spin.

"He likes the whole idea of cleaning."

"You know that doesn't surprise me. He's always been a little anal like that bird on that American sitcom you both like."

"Friends." Both Stuart and Jackie filled in for him before turning to look at each other. "What's so upsetting about that?"

"I'm not upset. I'm just thinking it's weird."

"Hell no, it's not!" Robbie sounded exasperated and his two friends turned to look at him. "Could you imagine a bird walking about in one of those little French maid costumes, bending over with her little skimpy thong and her pink feather duster..." he went off into daydream mode and Jackie just glared at him before turning back to Stuart.

"Why are all the decent men in the world taken or gay?" Stuart burst out laughing at her comment before sighing.

"That might be hot for him but imagine either me or Ewan now in the place of that hot bird you're practically drooling over." Both detectives laughed as Robbie's face fell.

"Oh man, I am so going to have to get rid of that costume. I can only see Ewan dancing around." He did look quite scared and Stuart smiled before shaking his head. Robbie was always a good person to have around when you were upset. "And hey, you don't need to dress up in a French maid's outfit to do some cleaning." Robbie pointed out as he checked his watch, pulling a face at the fact their lunch was nearly over.

"What would I wear though?"

"Oh so naive." Robbie said mockingly. "Something tells me Ewan will get excited in seeing you in marigolds." There was a pause as Stuart stared at Robbie in silence, his face lined with confusion. "Just in marigolds, Stuart." Robbie sighed at the guy's idiocy and then groaned at the grin that took over the confusion.

"I knew that. I just love making you explain."

"I prefer you depressed."

"Oh now come on. You know it was fun." He grinned impishly. "Failing that you can borrow Ewan and he can dress up and tell you how you're a very, dirty boy." The tone of Stuart's voice was seductive and Robbie covered his ears.

"I do not want this image." He chanted as he left the cafe, humming his favourite tune. Jackie smiled as she stood up and paid – it was her turn on their imaginary rota – and then they both followed Robbie who was trying not to imagine Ewan bending over in a small skirt, skimpy thong and worst of all, the pink feather duster.


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHORS NOTE: I got yelled at by the head cleaner woman today even though I'm not a permanent resident of Flat C. I was just sat there. Okay, I might have laughed a little bit but to be fair, it is funny. Oh well, the war isn't going to end and who cares, it inspired this story??**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters.**

*******

**[Seduction Attempts]**

*******

"Stuart?" Ewan called the next morning when he woke up and found that he was in bed alone. They had the weekend off and Ewan had planned on just spending as much time catching up on his sleep or just being with Stuart as he could. Ronan was thankfully staying at Stuart's parents house for the weekend because she'd been desperate to go and they were never one to whine for a weekend alone. They had never realised at how much time you had to surrender to the needs of a small child.

"Yes?" He heard the voice of his partner calling.

"Why have you left our bed?" Ewan whined from his position in the bed and knew that he'd have to either whine some more or hope that his partner wasn't dense enough and realise that Ewan wanted him in the bed with him.

"Because I had some cleaning to do." Ewan was now wide awake. His OCD in full kicks as he feared what Stuart was doing to their house that Ewan had always managed to keep immaculate even with a five year old tomboy.

"What are you doing to my..." He stopped talking as he moved into the bathroom and saw Stuart stood in the shower wearing nothing but a pair of marigolds. He actually was doing the cleaning but Ewan could tell from his face that he had no idea what it was he was doing. "You realise that's the kitchen spray?" Stuart looked down at the bottle in exasperation before staring at Ewan with wide eyes. How the hell did he know that from there?!

"I wouldn't know they all looked the same..." Stuart said shrugging his shoulder before resting back on the white tiles, his head hitting the wall. "Can I ask why you enjoy this torture?" Ewan laughed as he moved over to the shower and pressed a small kiss onto the man's pouting lips.

"I enjoy it because I know what I'm doing. Men like you and Robbie, however, don't so you prefer to live in a cesspit."

"Hey, my last apartment was immaculate!" Stuart pointed out and Ewan laughed as he eased the spray out of Stuart's fingers before climbing into the shower cubicle with him, his hands pressing against the man's bare hips as he pulled himself close to him.

"You hired a cleaner."

"It was still clean." Stuart pointed out in all seriousness making Ewan laugh as he shivered at the feel of the marigolds pressing against his now damp skin. "I suppose I'd best just leave you to the cleaning."

"Yeah but I'm going to make you wash the dishes some nights so you have to wear..." the words were cut off by Stuart running one of his latex tipped fingers up Ewan's spine. The latter man's legs turned to jelly as he sagged against his partner, a groan being drawn out of his lips as he viciously attacked the man's neck. Stuart smiled before pushing the man's head away from his shoulder so that he could steal a kiss.

The kiss was a fight for dominance, their tongues battling to the end until they both separated needing air. Ewan smiled as he looked at his partner. "So Robbie advised you away from dressing like a French maid?"

"If you tell me that's what you want me to do..."

"I can honestly say cross dressing is NOT one of my kinks." He promised before laughing at Stuart's face. "What's that look for?"

"You have more than one kink?" Stuart asked as he pressed kiss to his lover's jaw, his hands snaking around his waist so that he could hold him lovingly.

"Doesn't everyone?"

"I don't know." Stuart seriously answered before grinning. "Well how about I supply you enough entertainment with this kink and then I'll have even more fun trying to figure out what your other kinks are?" He smiled when Ewan's face flashed with excitement. Stuart took off one of the gloves and pinged it against Ewan's flesh, smiling as the man moaned. "Something tells me we're going to be having a lot of fun."

"Oh hunny," Ewan whispered as he took hold of Stuart's gloved hand and pressed it against him, "the fun has already started for some." Stuart just laughed as he took hold of his lovers hand and dragged him to the bedroom. The fun was just about to begin...

*******

**AUTHORS NOTE: So the next chapter is obviously going to be Robbie trying to lure Jackie's kink out of her.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AUTHORS NOTE: So it's the chapter you've all been excited for!! It's time for Robbie to squeeze information out of Jackie!! Oh and I hope Santa was nice to you all :D**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the characters and no profit is being made but it keeps my small mind amused :)**

*******

**[Vital Information]**

*******

She was now regretting their conversation at the dinner table yesterday because Robbie had turned up at her front door that evening with a crate of beer, two bottles of wine and a take away. She leant against the door and sighed. "I like to spend my Saturday's alone?" She lied knowing that if she'd have been pre-warned that Robbie was coming over, she'd have been excited but right now she knew he had only one thing on his mind and she knew that he would do anything to get that information. That included getting her drunk.

"So you say but I have a night of entertainment mapped out for us."

"I am not watching any of your trashy DVD's." She warned immediately and immediately regretted it when he winked.

"So I've now crossed out watching porn from the list of probable kinks." He teased moving past her and stepping into the kitchen. She counted to ten mentally before hitting her head against the front door as she closed it. How had she got herself into this mess? She followed him into the kitchen and saw him putting the cans of beer into the fridge.

"You realise this kind of conversation is kind of crossing the boundaries of our working relationship?" She challenged knowing deep down that Robbie wouldn't care and she personally didn't want him to stop but there was still the fear that he'd probably laugh at her.

"Jacks, I know for a fact it isn't our working relationship you're worried about ruining." He chastised before handing her a beer and smiling. "So is it food sex?" He asked and she wrinkled up her nose in disgust before moving over to the couch where she'd left the book she'd been reading as he'd knocked at the door. "What's wrong with food sex?"

"Robbie, can you tell me what is so sexy about lying in a bed and being covered with baked beans?"

"Who said anything about baked beans?" He pointed out sitting down with his own beer. "I've done it with whipped..." the rest of his words were muffled as she covered his mouth with her hand. She did not need to know about his past string of lovers right now when they were having this conversation. She removed her hand eventually, wiping the warmth of his saliva down the thigh of his jeans before turning back to look at him. She glared at the cheeky grin he flashed her. "So sharing sex stories is definitely another kink off the list." He commented and she just groaned.

"Robbie, I don't see why you're so damned interested in my sex kinks!" She pointed out downing half the bottle of beer realising that she needed some anaesthesia to have this conversation with Robbie. She didn't know why she felt so awkward and shy because she could normally talk about anything to Robbie.

"Jackie, I'm interested about everything that is to do with you but you've just been too damned blind to notice!" He growled aggressively and she looked up at him in shock, her heart racing as she realised what it was he was saying to her. She was pretty sure that Robbie was saying that he liked her. That he was interested in her. She found herself drinking the rest of the bottle before turning to glare at him.

"If I find out this is a joke, Robbie Ross, I'm going to tie you up and dump you in some random field where no one will find you." Robbie smiled devilishly before leaning over and creeping his fingers round the nape of her neck so he could bring her lips to his. He stopped when they were a centimetre apart and she could feel his warm breath tickling her face as he whispered,

"Is that your kink, Jackie?" He asked gently before darting his tongue out and running it around her lips and smiled as she gasped so that her lips slightly parted. "Do you like the idea of being in control?" He whispered and she found her hands clenching into a fist around his shirt as she felt herself feeling dizzy. How the hell was he making her feel like this with simple words? "Or maybe you like the idea that if we're outside that someone might catch us? Are you all about the thrill, Detective Reid?" At the use of her title, she moaned and Robbie smiled. "It would appear that you have more than one kink, Jackie."

"You're a..." she had been about to curse him when his lips moved down and took hold of hers, his fingertips teasing the brown locks of hair at the nape of her neck causing her to shudder against his chest. In her youth she'd been known to have sex outdoors with her lovers mainly because of her catholic parents not allowing her to have boys in her bedroom and she'd always found it thrilling. The mere idea that someone could turn the corner and find you just made it more exhilarating.

She found herself battling him for dominance with the kiss and the hand clenched in his clothes started to loosen as she worked at the small buttons. Frustration started to take over before she ripped the shirt off his shoulders, her hand running up and down his bare skin and she smiled at the low growl that sounded from the back of his throat. The kiss ended and Robbie leant back. He smiled at her eyes that darkened with desire and he stroked his hand down her cheek before laughing. "So you don't want the conversation but we can do that on your couch?"

"Well I'd rather we were doing it out on a field apparently." She teased running her hand through his hair before laughing. "Do I ever get to find out your kinks?"

"I would like to say that I think you'll be able to do it without me telling you." He whispered running his tongue up the column of her neck before sucking on her jaw. She looked down at him in confusion before moaning as he bit her a little harsher than she'd ever thought possible.

"Your kink is being able to bite me?" She asked confused but knew she was hitting the wrong mark when he started to laugh.

"No you silly idiot." He teased tugging at her brown hair and she gasped again. Robbie realised slowly that the woman that he had once seen as weak was into a little bit of marking as well. She was a shock to his system. How could it be that it was his shy work partner was the most sexually exhilarating woman that he'd ever met whereas the other women he'd met were into plain sex or had only managed one or two kinks?! He smiled as he thought of the famous saying 'it's the quiet ones you need to watch out for'. "I like the woman to be in charge."

She smiled her own devilish grin and Robbie knew he was in for some fun when she leant down and nibbled his earlobe gently. "Are you sure you want to hand over the control?" She whispered as a challenge and Robbie smiled back at her, his hands already undoing the buttons on her own shirt.

"Hit me with your best shot."


End file.
